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ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS: It’s Just What It Sounds Like

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HELLO MY NAME IS KEVIN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL WOW. I LIKE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH OR IN THE CITY OR ANYWHERE REALLY AND ALSO FOOD. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SHOWED UP AND HAVE ALL YOUR LEGS. I HOPE YOU’RE AS HAPPY AS I AM ABOUT THIS DATE BECAUSE I’M NEW TO TINDER AND I DON’T DO THIS OFTEN AT ALL.

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DANNY, MAN, YOU NEED TO PERK UP. IT’S A PARTY.

AT THE SAME TIME YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT, THOUGH. YOUR MOOD IS ONE OF PALPABLE TENSION AND IT’S MAKING EVERYONE ABOUT 12% LESS LOOSEY-GOOSEY THAN THEY SHOULD BE. WE CAN’T HAVE THAT. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE FULLY L-G.

SO, TO RECAP, YOU NEED TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR BREAKUP AND REMEMBER ABOUT PARTIES. PERKY BUT CHILL. INTO A GOOD TIME BUT OUT OF SHITS TO GIVE.

TAKE ME AS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF THE REQUIRED DICHOTOMY. UP TOP I’M ALL PARTY, HENCE THE HAT. DOWNTOWN WE FIND ME SO CHILLED OUT THAT I REFUSE TO USE MY LEGS AND HAVE KEVIN HERE CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE. THAT’S THE MOOD AND ATTITUDE WE’RE GOING FOR.

WOULD IT HELP IF I HAD KEVIN GRAB YOU A BURGER? HMMM? THEY’RE DYNAMITE. THEY’VE GOT CHORIZO IN THEM.

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DAN, YOU’RE MAKING IT INCREDIBLY HARD FOR ME TO WALK.

WELL, YOU’RE MAKING IT INCREDIBLY HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

YES, RIGHT, BUT YOU’RE ALSO HURTING MY EAR.

THE EAR THAT IS INSIDE MY EYE RIGHT NOW, FILLING THAT EYE WITH THE ONLY THING I WANT TO LOOK AT FOREVER, WHICH IS YOU?

YES, MOST LIKELY, AND THAT IS SWEET, BUT WHAT I’M  TRYING TO SAY IS-

THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO? FOREVER? BECAUSE WE ARE TOTALLY SOULMATES?

DOES ONE SOULMATE OFTEN PREVENT THE OTHER FROM WALKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE? IS THAT HOW IT WORKS?

SURE. IT’S PROBABLY ALL THE WEAK KNEES AND SWOONING YOU’RE EXPERIENCING FROM BEING IN LOVE WITH ME SO HARD.

DAN, IT’S YOUR HEAD, WHICH IS SMOOSHED DIRECTLY INTO THE SIDE OF MY HEAD, FORCING ME INTO TREES AND BUSHES.

FORCING YOU INTO LOVE, YOU MEAN.

GOD DAMN IT, DAN.

new favourite blog

Gal Meets Glam.

I love it. I have read all the posts already. I am officially hooked.

You will be seeing quite a few outfits from Julia (the girl meeting glam) because I want to steal so much of her style.

Also, she has amazing hair. And skin. And makeup. Oh my!

Like I said – hooked.

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linda juhola

i stumbled along linda juhola’s blog, p.s. i love fashion, by accident.

it was one of those rare discoveries in the blog world and i went through about 100 pages right away.

i found myself realising that simple, classic style can translate into real life.

check out her blog, p.s. i love fashion for more fantastic snapshots and an insight into her amazing life.